The first week of school was both great and hard. I have to
say I was glad to be out of my house, but the abrupt change from lazy summer to
a full schedule of tough academic classes is hard for anyone, but is especially
hard for people with issues changing their routine. My subjects are mostly new
to me, as are my teachers (with one great exception), and my one-on-one aide is
new too. Factor in a non-stop heat wave in sort of sauna-land all day and I get
frazzled more easily than usual.
The
teachers have been pretty cool because it is the first time they have had a
student so disabled to learn about. I admit, if people are cool and calm with
me it helps me if I’m stressed, but if people get stressed, I get frightened. I
have a roller coaster internally that can’t stop when I feel fear. I must be
given the space to center my neurological system.
I so wish
I was my full master of my emotions and behavior but I don’t have the tools
yet. My parents or aide are indispensible in helping me modulate my behavior. They
can right the tilting ship. They get it. Sometimes – rarely—I lose it, but
usually I regain myself fast. If the situation escalates because I am not given
a chance to calm myself, it is not helpful at all. Then my roller-coaster
plummets. I keep wondering how do I stop it when I get impulsive or edgy at
once.
I know I
must be removed in quiet and allowed to pull myself together. I think many
schools and parents should know this. A show of tough authority escalates a
sensory system that needs peace. Take the kid to a quiet place to sit still and
it should do the trick eventually. Running is also helpful. I regret it always
if I lose my cool or misbehave in public but I urge people to not be
frightened. Autistic non-verbal people don’t mean harm. It is usually a form of
frustration they don’t contain well.
