Today I gave a speech before about 100 women. I was nervous. I always am, even though I am used to giving speeches. I spoke about issues that are important to me; my personal mission of changing the way non-verbal autism is understood, how I want to be talked to (normally), how the community needs to be more accepting, and many other themes.
It was well received. It was the overwhelming aftermath I want to discuss. So many lovely, caring women rushed to me, hugging and kissing me. It was too much and I was overwhelmed. How can I explain it and not sound whiny?
My system is overly sensitive. Really, I am struggling all the time to be in control of myself. In emotional moments it is harder. Giving a speech, women who weep at my speech, teens who sob in my arms after my speech, so many questions people bombard me with in an instant… I wrote in the past about how I overflow. So, I did. I got aggressive in an instant, in front of my “admirers” (ha-ha). I grabbed my mom and pulled her hair.
I love my mom and I don’t have any desire to hurt her. I didn’t, but she was livid all the same. I need to get better self-control. My friend, Elaine Hall, suggested that my mom should whisk me out after future speeches before the crowd gets up. Yes! I am pretty sure I need that. It’s necessary if I’m going to continue doing speeches in person. I think seeing me in person helps people to believe my message.
If you have an autistic kid, this may help you understand the overflow you see. I do my best, but I am not normal neurologically. I believe it will improve, but meanwhile I have decided that I’m outta there the moment the speech is done. If there are questions, please write to facebook or my blog.
The lovely women are doting and I am fleeing. I greatly appreciate their good wishes more than they can know, but I need to go.
Now I need to go for a jog to run off my steam. Til next time.
Ido
I know that things did not end the way you had hoped they would, but I heard your speech went very well, and that you were a huge success! Leaving immediately after sounds like a good plan.
ReplyDeleteIdo, your work is amazing. Can you tell your audience at the end of your speech that if they appreciate your words and work, they should write to you rather than talk to you and touch you at the end of your presentation, because such attention for an autistic person results in sensory overload? It would liberate you from anxiety about this happening after your talks, give your admirers a way to express their appreciation, and further educate them about what it means to have autism. Just a thought :) thank you for the inspiration and for all that you do!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Good idea!
ReplyDeleteDon't just leave the stage. That would be rude.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could get two "bodyguards" to assist you. One on either side. Near the end of the speech, introduce your two friends: I, like Johnny Depp, often inspire hysteria which evolves into rushing and touching. We don't like that. So let me introduce you two my two friends, Bubba and Marko, they are here to keep me safe from my fans."
Maybe you can enlist local kids when you speak at schools. Give them sun glasses and a t-shirt that says, "Security: Ido Productions". Kids have a kick, audience learns a lesson, you have security... Good luck.